Without A Smile On

See me without my friends around
and you just might see me without my smile on
You might catch a glimpse
of how I really feel
When I'm alone and thoughts protrude.
Look at me
and tell me
that you know it isn't a mask
the smiles that I sell.
I'll laugh at you.
I've gotten real good at this
if I can fool you, my friend.
Because trust me
I don't like life
anymore than it likes me.
I think happy thoughts to keep that smile on
why?
because my problems aren't for others to see
because my problems are small compared to yours.
People would kill for a life like mine
so why would I kill for something different?
Catch me on my own
and you just might see me without my smile on
if, that is, you see me
before I know you're there.

Make Yourself Known

You truly want to make yourself known?
Then shout from the rooftops
Don't waste my time with petty lies
I've more worries than you
and your heart and mine.
Don't Hide in shadows with maybes
Don't play me like a fool,
I doubt you would like the same.
I've got a life
I've got worries
That don't include you.
Don't leave me alone
When you said you would never leave
I can live without you
So let me.
Leave me be.
Don't waste my time,
Others stand in line.
So be sure
or be gone.

Hating What We Are

Our worlds drift further apart
as the rest of our lives grow shorter
The less often I see you
The more often I want to.
Once so close
Now so far away.
Years and lies make damage
that is never to be repaired
It wasn't even centered around us,
we were just
two kids caught in the cross-fire
My cousin
My friend
My sister-at-heart
How I wish we were still what we were once.

~Anora Anakaya~

And We're Off to See the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Off to Grandma's house for the holiday! Merry Christmas Everybody! Here is my crappy (but best) attempt a cheesy holiday spirit!

Its just a tree
But its got white lights
draped over each branch
Its just a tree
but every branch has something
and each something holds memories
that we each cherish

Its only a tree
But we only have it
during this one time of the year
and every year
its the center piece to
memories I hold dear

Its only a tree
But without it
My life wouldn't be the same.

~Anora Anakaya~

Bubble Wrap

I have determined that the best therapy that exists is bubble wrap. Yes thats right, your childhood's favorite toy (okay my childhood's favorite toy) is great therapy. Now if only I could find some therapy I'd be all set......

Anyway here's a poem I hope you guys are interested.



An itchy seat
a scratchy dress
Little me
in an empty hall

Preacher at the podium
people on the pews

Echoes off the ceiling
The Dusty, Musty smell
        of old Bible books
The creaking door
        as someone sneaks in
A baby's cry
        and someone sneaks out

~Anora Anakaya~ 

Weird Dreams

People would not believe the sort of dreams I have. I don't have many dreams either, but when I do, they are so vivid! Last night was crazy in my head. I dreamed that I was at some sort of concert type thing and I won something. So I had to go up to the stage to get my prize. By the time I got there, this big shell like thing that was on the stage opened and there were people inside. I claimed my prize and went back to my seat (I had to climb and walk on top of some very unappreciative people). When I got back to my seat the shell was closing with the people still inside, and the people inside looked shocked. So, I stood up and shouted to the host of the concert. I asked what was happening to them. He replied nothing, don't worry about it, they'll be fine, etc. I asked again. He glared and told me to sit down. Then I said let them go. And he asked why? saying that the people inside would die anyway due to exposure to the shell's inside (i know thats weird but just go with it). I replied with "Then at least let them die free" or something very close to that. Then he said fine, and opened the shell.

But THEN he starts auctioning off the people. Now this dream was really starting to scare me. But my dream self stood up for the people. I got in a fight trying to prove a point. And then.....I woke up. Crappy right? Things were so interesting then, nothing, just nothing.

But the craziest part is that I had an equally crazy dream right before this one.

o.O

~Anora Anakaya~

Making this up as i go

My life is a glass castle
beautiful to look at.
The sun shines off of the walls
making them glitter.
It is grand.
Awe inducing.
But then I've got to live in it.
It gets hot as the glass keeps in the sun's heat
It gets cold in the winter with no insulation
Everything I do, the world can see.
Its a good thing I don't have anything to hide.
And the slightest bit of damage,
could destroy it all.
No, its not quite so grand to live in.
But looking at it you could never tell.
And people ask me
"How wonderful is it,
to live in such a beautiful place?"
And I just smile back,
nod my head,
and say
"It makes a wonderful view doesn't it?
But tell me,
how would you like to live
in a place where all can see,
where damage done can never be repaired,
and it takes a year's worth of spring cleaning to make it look nice?
How would you like to live forever exposed?"
And they say
"How wonderful is it to live there?"
I sigh and reply,
"Its wonderful. Simply amazing."
because they won't ever understand.

Why is it that every time someone walks out of my life (or i kick them out) they come walking back in? Seriously it gets annoying after awhile. People need to learn that if they walk out, then walking back in isnt easy. And if i kick you out, then i dont WANT you back in.

If

If life could speak


If life could talk
what would it say?

would it speak of sorrow
that waited in its past
or of glory that hides
in the coming future

what questions
    would i ask?
what answers
    would it give?

I wish I knew the answer
to every question here
But I dont
and it cant speak
so we must wait and see.

~Anora Anakaya~

Vampires and poetry

This is one of my more creative pieces. I was inspired by my friend who told me about something similar. I wanted to see what i could do with the subject.

To wake in the middle of the night
and feel the pain in one's neck
and to fall asleep the second next

To wake up in the morn'
and forget that dream
a face of deathly pallor

Unnoticed in the gloom
and teeth pointed on the end
only vaguely seen

A blood-thirst filled by
sleepwalking nights
remembered only as a dream

nothing really different,
but nothing all the same.

~Anora Anakaya~

a broken message

Love is a broken message
     false, but true
a paradox of letters
     laid out before you
It means forever
It means setting aside past mistakes
but high school uses it
     without knowing what love means
Love is special
Love is unconditional
Only once does a heart feel it
but its used with anything
and loses all meaning.

~Anora Anakaya~

Waiting On Love

Love is a fickle thing
it can come and go
The feeling doesn't stay
those butterflies and warm sense of belonging?
     Yeah, it passes
but its a choice you make
to stay forever and never give up
to give your heart and your soul
to trust it with someone else's hands
its a choice I'm not ready for yet.
So I'll sit and calmly wait.
While God sets up the perfect dance.

wow!

Hey everyone, check out Joey's poem!! just posted on LifeInFiction!!

http://reallifeinfiction.blogspot.com/2010/12/being-new-holocaust-and-hey-there.html

~Anora Anakaya~

Sunday!

Sunday, the Sabbath. The day of rest. Such an amazing day to reconnect with people and God. Not that one should ever need reconnecting with Him, but still, the point stands.

I hope everyone is having an awesome time as snow begins to fall more steadily near my place of living. Its beginning to look more like Christmas everyday! speaking of which, whats everybody doing this Christmas? I'm going to Mexico!! It'll be my second time out of country and Im so excited!!

~Anora Anakaya~

It is time

Life only gets harder to live as we go on. So its time to stop worrying, forget those that make you sad, remember your mistakes, regret nothing, never let your friends go, and always smile.  


Somethings never get easier, but only harder. 


Trying


To seek art in 
perfect form
drawn on paper, still


a skill unlearned
formed by a dying hand


To dreams that we aspire
to words we left unwritten
to never have accomplished 
and to wish to always have.


To not succeed 
and always fail
but to gain in knowledge still


The words 'keep trying'
running through my mind.

Thomas Edison once said "I have not failed 1,000 times. I have

successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb."

Keep trying and one day, you just might get there.

New Look

How's everyone doing? I hope you all like the new look. I needed something different.
Anyways here is a riddle for everyone. I'll post the answer tomorrow.

I bloom in autumn
and die in spring
i grow in winter
and shrivel in summer
What am I?

I'll give you a hint, its a crappy riddle and I need to edit it.

Hello

Hey everybody. I changed my profile. My mom, being the worrier that she is, wanted me to make something less directly linked to me. So here it is. Please bear with the changes.

And dont forget! visit everybody at LifeInFiction!!

Again

So my tears have fallen.
Fallen for you again.
My mind seems blank.
but my thoughts are just too quick to see
Trains hurling past.

My uncertainty continues
My confidence dwindles
I dream that you think of me
but these dreams are just my tears
No salty water ever does touch my cheeks,
no pain is seen from that

No.
My smile hides depression


and pain.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


i wrote this long ago. hope you guys like it. (who all views this anyways?) But yeah im also on LifeInFiction now so make sure you check us out!! :) 

change

well i recently noticed what this blog has become isnt what it was originally intended for. I think im going to go back to what it was. personal diary *closed* writing entries *reopened*

la-di-da-di-da

so i havent done much of late. im just kind of drifting through these days. not much goes on anymore. but i did much ever go on to begin with? hmm...
life is so...pleasant right now. :)

Living.

Its so easy to live without him that i now know i never loved him at all. I dont miss him anymore. And i dont want to date, even if i feel like i've a gaping whole in my life.
God has been trying to give me a message. I'm having trouble deciphering it.

he'll live. the question is will i?

ugh.

so i broke up with him. i just couldn't do it any more. Now, i find myself missing him. Did he have more of my heart than i'll ever know? I just hope he'll be okay.

hmmm

i find myself  liking multiple people... whats up with that?

Dont tell me you're not a thief, because you've stolen my heart and i cant get it back. :)

What to do, what to do

So many decisions need to be made. sooo many.... college, boyfriend, soccer, school, family, friends, church, and how many more categories? *sigh* someone ought to help me

So im a high school junior taking college courses. IT SUCKS. I have massive homework every night. especially in calc.GAH and these essays for english! so pointless! oh well, at least soccer is fun. most of the time

A year ago I'd never have talked to him. Not after what he did. Not after how he did it. But now....He has a piece of my heart I dont think I'll ever get back

him..

So he's off to Evansville and I'm still here... Will we ever see each other again?

Cant believe my luck

So things seem to be still going my way. Happiness is bliss, so long as it stays. Of course, it never does, so I'll just prepare for that day it decides to leave. Is a hardened heart better than a softened one?

Life

It all seems to be going my way for once. Or at least most of it is. I dont know how far down the road this will lead. I just know im happy with where im at and i want to hold on to that happiness.

I wish some doubts would clear themselves up. What are we? I dont know. Doubts are being placed upon me by those around me. They need to go away. I dont want to lose faith in something i am so fond of. we'll see where it leads.

Things change so quickly.

Life and its oddities

Confused I am. Confused I shall remain. Which road do I take? Which place should I go? How far must I travel? Whom must i know? Why can't I know?

Life is odd. We get happy, thenn sad, and we wonder why. When we get happy, the amount of happiness required to be truly happy increases tenfold while the amount of sadness or unhappiness required drops dramatically. We expect a ceratin thing and get half. We are then dissapointed. So let's start expecting less, that way our expectations are exceeded everytime.

So happiness exists so that it can be taken away

So the guy i like asked me out. he broke up with me less than two day later. didnt say why. he just did. Now, im lost. I'm not sure what to do. But i WAS happy. I feel that once again, i have somehow angered the figure who controls Karma

Karma Fate or whatever it is

Did i do something wrong? why is karma out to get me? something good happens and then something bad follows right away... I find out something good, and then something bad. Can i not be happy? Whatever it is i did i dont know it.

Changing the World

I am nothing in this world. an insignificant dot. A one-of-millions. I am not special. Why should I be? I am not unique, at least no more than anyone else is. yet, i want to change the world. we all do. who doesn't? it may be a small change they want to make but it still changes the world as a whole. whether its their hometown or their school system. maybe its a classroom, maybe its their family. or maybe its someone's heart. maybe its a child's life or a system of politics. we all dream to change the world somehow and in the end we all do. however the measurement in which we do is the important part.

college

the day i start worrying about my future and my college options again....I get mail from "MY College Options". Great. Just what I needed. Now there are 50,000 postcard things to go through, fill out, and send back out. Great.

stories

I have been continuing my long story from class. Unfotrunately, i'm not much farther with it. I miss class. I had so much writing time! Anyway, its coming along pretty nicely. Also, some friends of mine and I have been writing a pass-around story. It is actually turning out well. Normally pass-arounds get severly messed-up. Well, that's all that is happening in my life.Peace Out.

OMG

Just played an awesome game of soccer. OMG. So, much fun! tied 0-0 but my team sucks and we just took on the best/second-best in the league. OMG.

Change of Heart

Changed the layout. Let me know what you think

:(

I'm going to miss Creative Writing so much. I can't believe its over already. I'll post any new writings I have. :( I'm going to miss everything so much.