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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I'm the best
According to my prof
The best in years
the best considering my age
59 out of 60
and that one point I missed
was based off of clarity.

But he doesn't see
my struggles at home
when I'm pulling out my hair
when I'm struggling to get done
when I'm Googling everything
so that I can understand
when I run to my brother
who no longer understands.

that he doesn't see.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

My Shadow

Have you ever looked at your shadow and instead of seeing just a shadow you see yourself, when you were six. The scrunched shadow close to noon is about the height you would've been. Or even the elongated shadow as evening approaches could be you imagining yourself taller. Maybe you were running to catch something caught in the wind and something possessed you to glance to the side and you saw your shape running along side and it looked just the same as when you were eight and you did the same.

Through everything that changes, through time, age, life, change in sense of style, through the hair cuts, the piercings, and the scars, one thing never changes. And that one thing, is always right next to you. Sometimes it's six feet tall. Other times it's only mere centimeters.But it's always there. Always. It never leaves. You never can get rid of it. It never changes. It is exactly the same as when you were younger and it will be exactly the same when you are older. It is called a shadow and it is always with you.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Coming to Terms

I am slowly coming to terms.
Slowly coming to terms with my life
How meaningless it is.
Slowly coming to terms with my work
I've really done nothing yet.
Slowly coming to terms with my existence
I do not belong here.

Slowly, I am coming to terms
with the world
with people
and yet nothing.

Slowly, as I am coming to terms
I find myself
into the background,
the scenery,
the backdrop of life.

I see myself
accomplished in my age
But where does it lead me?
I shall fade with time.
No, I won't be Bill Gates
or the inventor of a telephone.

Send me back to Einstein's age
and I will be as much help to him
as I am to a dead man.
Edison wouldn't benefit
from knowledge that I have.
And I surely cannot write
better than Hemingway or Poe

No, my name
will not go down
in the history books.
My impact on the world
will be limited:
personal relations at best.

I am coming to terms.

Monday, March 7, 2011


ok so i had my first college visit today!! im so excited now! I want to get this college business out of the way!