Breaking Rules.

You make me want to break my rules
Every single one.

Never date someone twice.
Don't get addicted to the physical.
Don't fall before I'm ready.
Don't even try for long distance.

I've broken them all.
One by one.
You drew me in.
But oh how I was praying you would.

Perhaps I will forget you in time.
Perhaps I will get over you in time.
But I don't want to
I'm addicted to this feeling
This sense of finally being.
I want to spend my time
with you
and only
you.

You are the reason for so much of what I do. So, why is it so hard for me to tell this to you?

Only A Dream

I dreamt of something impossible to have
It was you in all entirety.
I'd have your heart and you'd have mine.
We'd live and love and laugh together
for all of time.

My mind would wander to your smile,
Oh how dreamt that it would shine upon me all of my days.
Skies would brighten with you at my side
The rain would go away.
Snow would melt because of you
And there was summer and spring eternal.

But alas,
It was only a dream I dreamt.
Only visions of a wish.
Perhaps, I thought.
Perhaps it could be.
But it was only a dream I dreamt.

Only a dream I still dream.

~Anora Anakaya~

I am hurting more today, than I have ever hurt before. And no one will notice.

Goodbye.

One last kiss
One last hug
One last moment
Before I may never see you again.

My heart is breaking
My world is changing
Tears are streaming down my face.
And questions start running through my mind.

Why must you go?
Why can't you stay?
but even more so,
Why do I feel this way?

It's never been harder to say goodbye.

I said goodbye today to a friend who has always been more than just a friend. I might not see him for a long time. I may even never see him again. I don't know what I'm going to do. When I left, I was in tears. When I think of him, I only have regret for having nothing more.

God, guide me.

Your False Beliefs

I fear the very thing that brought me together with you the first time. The thoughts you have of her, hurt me. The things you dream, am I in them? Or are you only keeping me hanging on for the sake of your false beliefs? I say something, you must contradict. You say something, and I often agree. My dreams include you with smiles. My heart longs for yours in complete.But where does your heart lie? What do you see in your dreams? It almost certainly seems as though it is not me.